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:iconjuniperjuneferngully: More from JuniperJuneFerngully

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Unread by CarmenVeloso

writing by Hfeather53

Literature by Bioshutt

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Submitted on
March 29, 2013
File Size
2.1 KB


105 (who?)
Out of her trumpet flies a tiny whale, and the trumpeteer stealthily stuffs him into her pocket. She runs away to a dark alley, and carefully places the little whale in a dumpster where hundreds of other miniscule whales reside, swimming in a pool of water.
The mother whale swoops down from the sky and opens her mouth, letting the little whales in. SHRinks and goes through a portal in the blacktop.
In this parallel universe, the sky is the ocean and the ocean is the sky. Little birds swim through the watery sky.
One of the birds lets out the sound of a goat. The sound of a man screaming in horror. He holds the key.
The long legged goats gallop and try to buck the goat-screeching birds.
The bird lets out a screech that turns into a super sonic BOOM.
then the oceansky and skyocean fuse together.
It is now all one: The oceanosphere.
The whales and birds drift in the watery air together.
The whales attack the long legged goats with their flippers. One goat looks back,
and winks at the bird.
The bird disappears.

The whales have figured it out. They grow horns from their heads that are long enough to reach the universal button of gravity. And switch it off.
Gravity is gone in both universes. Some people hurdle towards the sun and instantaneously evaporate.
The two realities begin to combine.
As they merge, so do the beings in the realities. Humans and creatures of all kinds begin to combine.
Each forming two creatures in one. Good and evil.
Their forms contain both souls. Each soul is released and every physical body
and turn into star dust.

One life remains.
The bird.
He lays eggs in space, and they land on Earth.
Hatching into new humans.

These humans have wings
but over the years, their wings have disappeared.

We can't thank you enough for the Daily Deviation; we never thought our automatic nonsense would achieve this.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-04-18
Lukewarm Genetics by ~JuniperJuneFerngully is a story painted in brief impressions. ( Featured by neurotype )
Renacido Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Professional General Artist
I hadn't had time to comment on this until now, but I just wanted to say. I love the use of wording even though it may be nonsense(Nonsense writing is some of the best!). I got the greatest mental images from this and the text arrangements are fabulous. The last sentence really puts a nice stop on it, I love that.
'These humans have wings
but over the years, their wings have disappeared.'
It's a very intense statement.
I hope you continue writing 'automatic nonsense' like this! :D
JuniperJuneFerngully Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much!
We definately will.
parchmentgirl Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Writer
I'm aware that this critique is going to make me sound like an awful person, but since you submitted it to :iconlove-original-lit: and the Outstanding Literature Folder I have to fulfill my role and write a critique for it.

The first line after 'BASS SECTION GO' I really like. It is a good, strong opening sentence. I did think that 'BASS SECTION GO' could do with a colon after it to signify the action was taking place though.
As for the rest of the piece... well it just isn't really my cup of tea and please do not take offence at that.
There is some interesting imagery but it is so very, very patchy. I understand that it is supposed to be nonsense, but no matter how many times I read the piece through I could see no connection between the start of the poem and the end. There seemed little connection throughout any of it if I'm honest, which may have been what you were going for, I'm really not sure.

The last nonsense piece I truly fell in love with was Lewis Caroll's ' 'The Jabberowky'. It managed to incorporated nonsense with the basic plot-line structure. Beginning, challenge, climax, resolution and so forth. There was a feeling that something had been achieved by the end of the piece, which I'm sort of getting a hint of with this piece but the thought eludes me at the last moment.

This is simply my personal opinion, and clearly others see this as a piece of exceptional work, but as with everything art is subjective. Unfortunately I seem unable connect with this piece no matter how many times that I read it. My apologies I could not be more constructive.
JuniperJuneFerngully Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No offense taken at all. On the contrary, we thank you very much for sharing your opinion. We truly appreciate the honesty.
This piece really had no conscious thought put into it whatsoever, so we didn't know how it was going to be perceived by anyone. It wasn't even intended to have a solid plot at all; we just went with the flow of whatever came out of our heads.
We realize that no piece of art can please everyone, nor would we ever try to create anything to please everyone. So, again we thank you for your honesty.
Medoriko Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Student Writer
Well deserving of a DD. Fantastic work :clap: The imagery in this is DD worthy and more :heart: Congratulations~
tirzacantfail Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist
I love this! Congrats on the well-earned DD!
Screwed-In-The-Head Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm imagining all these tiny antigravity whales and they're just SO CUTE OMG.
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz: :iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Kagamine-Kawaii Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Student General Artist
Oh my gosh, this is one of those rare poems where you just listen and think again and again and make your own little story to it :'D
SimplySilent Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
:heart: Congrats on the DD! :clap:
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